


Even After All This Time [an akaashi fanfic]

by via_megumi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Post-High School, Reader-Insert, Regret, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 07:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30118938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_megumi/pseuds/via_megumi
Summary: reader and akaashi were best friends and were secretly in love with each other but as time passed, you went away and stopped meeting akaashi. when you meet each other again, you found out that akaashi has a girlfriend. even after all this time, you still have feelings for him and this is how you react.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Kudos: 8





	Even After All This Time [an akaashi fanfic]

**Author's Note:**

> dialogue prompt came from this tumblr prompt: https://promptlywritingideas.tumblr.com/post/159040740318/angst-prompts

You stared at your phone as it continued ringing. The caller ID showed an unknown number and you were hesitating on whether to answer it or not. You recently just got back to Japan a few weeks ago and only a few people knew your number. After finally deciding it was probably someone you knew, you answered the phone.

“Ah, Y/N-chan is it you? It is right?” You heard a familiar voice say. Your eyes went wide with surprise as to who was called you.

“Bokuto-san?” you asked. “Yes, it’s Y/N” you added answering his question.

“Yup it’s me! I heard from my sister that you have returned and decided to give you a call,” he said cheerfully. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Now it’s not like you weren’t friends with Bokuto but you knew he wasn’t exactly the type of guy who would just call you out of the blue just to catch up. Unless... _Akaashi asked him to_ , you thought to yourself. You quickly shook the thought out of your head as Akaashi wouldn’t do such a thing; he didn’t know you were back.

“Bokuto-san, is there a reason you’re calling me?” You asked skeptically. You heard Bokuto take a breath.

“Oh, okay fine, you caught me. I’m actually calling you to ask for a favor,” he replied. This made you curious. What can you possibly do for Bokuto as a favor?

“What kind of favor?” you asked.

“Well you see, Konoha is getting married this weekend.” he started. “You remember Konoha right? One of our spikers back in high school?” he asked. You instinctively nodded in reply even though he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah, and what about it?” you replied. You had a feeling where this was going but he couldn’t… he wouldn’t right?

“So, the favor I was going to ask is, do you mind if you accompany me to the wedding as my date?” he asked straightforwardly.

“Wait, what?!” you replied loudly. You couldn’t help being surprised as to what he has asked. Why would Bokuto ask you to be his date? “Why me?” you asked voicing out your thoughts.

“Well if I could be perfectly honest, this is a last-minute decision. I had no close girl friends to ask and my sisters are all busy this weekend. But then they suggested I ask you since you just got back and since, you know, you might want to meet up with our former classmates after being gone for so long…” he rambled. “I just need to bring a date since if I don’t I feel like all the girls will flock to me and will not leave me alone,” he added. You stayed silent for a minute before laughing.

“Only you could have the reason of wanting a date to avoid girls flocking to you,” you said giggling.

“Right? So, can you come with me or not?” he asked. “Pretty please?” he added making his voice sound like a child asking you to buy him candy. You thought for a minute. It would be nice to meet up with your former classmates, especially since most of them probably didn’t know you were back. _And Akaashi would surely be there._

“Sure, I’m not busy this weekend. I can go with you,” you replied trying to sound nonchalant, trying to hide the excitement of seeing Akaashi again.

“Oh, thank you Y/N! Thank you! So, I’ll pick you up…” Bokuto rambled on about the details for the wedding. You let him talk as your thoughts go back to Akaashi. You haven’t been in contact with him ever since you left Japan to study abroad for university. You were always busy in school and didn’t find the time to get in touch with anyone back home. It was really hard to schedule calls especially with the time zones, so eventually you just lost contact with your high school friends. It’ll be nice to see and talk to them again this weekend.

* * *

“Are you sure we’re not late, Bokuto-san?” you asked hesitantly as the two of you hurriedly walk towards the wedding hall. The wedding was supposed to begin at 2pm and it was already a quarter before 2pm when you reached the entrance to the hall.

“Nah, I don’t think so” he said giving me a grin probably to reassure you. “Or else Akaashi would have probably been texting me non-stop right now,” he added. Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. You were looking forward to this weekend ever since Bokuto invited you to be his date. Bokuto grabbed your hand before opening the doors to the wedding hall. Upon entering, you noticed the room was still a bit noisy, which was a relief because that means the wedding hasn’t started yet. You noticed Bokuto scanned the room before leading you towards the seats near the front. As he stopped, you noticed familiar faces sitting in the seats the two of you stopped beside of.

“Eh? Y/N-san is that you?” Yukie-san, one of the volleyball club managers, asked rather loudly. At the mention of your name, all of the volleyball team members in front of you looked over at you and Bokuto.

“Y/N-san what are you doing here?”

“We didn’t know you were back,”

“Why are you with Bokuto-san?”

You were instantly bombarded with questions from the team. You try to look over and see if Akaashi was among them but sadly he wasn’t. _I thought he was already here_ , you thought to yourself. That’s what Bokuto-san said on the way here.

“I just got back a few weeks ago. Bokuto-san heard of it and asked me to come with him as his date. Since it’ll be a good place to meet and catch up with you guys as well,” you explained answering their questions. You continued cheerfully catching up when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Y/N?” he said. You turned around to see Akaashi standing looking dumbstruck at you. You returned his gaze, your heart beating fast at the sight of him. His blue eyes showed confusion, shock. Like he didn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Akaashi, there you are, I was wondering where you were,” Bokuto said looking over his former setter.

“Ah Bokuto-san, you made it! We all thought you were going to be late,” someone said. That’s when you noticed that Akaashi wasn’t alone. Beside him was girl with short blonde hair styled in a bob and bright blue eyes. She has a small frame with slender legs; her presentation gave her the air of a beauty that one can only ever dream to become. You also noticed that she had her hands wrapped around Akaashi’s arms.

“You brought GF/N,” Bokuto said slowly. He looked over to you and then to Akaashi and then back to you, his face looking horrified. You stiffened as a sudden coldness hit your core. _Akaashi has a girlfriend now_ , the realization hitting you hard.

“Of course, Akaashi will bring me, I’m his girlfriend after all,” she replied playfully. “Who else would he bring as his date, right babe?” she added looking over Akaashi. This made Akaashi break his gaze toward Y/N, he looked towards his girlfriend and just nodded in reply. Just then the sound of bells rang loudly, as someone announced that the wedding will start soon and everyone should take their seats. Thankfully, you and Bokuto were seated at the end of the row, away from the aisle while Akaashi and his date were near it.

“Y/N-san, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think- I forgot that Akaashi-“ Bokuto whispered to me, stuttering his words. Even though you and Akaashi didn’t label your relationship when you were in high school, everyone knew that the two of you belong to each other. You look towards Bokuto who has a worried look on his face.

“It’s fine, Bokuto-san” you said as you shook your head to reassure him. You tried holding your purse tight on your lap to stop your fingers from shaking. “Besides, it’s not like Akaashi and I made anything official. We didn’t promise anything when I left.” you pointed out which made your heart ache.

“Still, I feel bad,” Bokuto trailed. He was about to say something more when the music started signaling the start of the wedding. As the wedding went underway, you couldn’t help but remember a certain deal you made with a certain someone.

* * *

_\- PAST –_

_“So how was your trip to Okinawa?” Akaashi asked as you walked out of school gates. As usual, the two of you walked with each other home after club activities. You walked side by side, your fingers close enough to touch if just one of you tried to reach out… but you never did._

_“It wasn’t a trip you know. We attended a wedding of my cousin,” you pointed out as the both of you stopped walking because of the red light in the pedestrian lane._

_“Right, so how was it?” he asked again. You thought for a moment. Last weekend you attended the wedding of your cousin in Okinawa. It was a small beach wedding with only few attendees. It was beautiful to witness, the couple saying their vows and kissing each other as the sun set behind them._

_“It was a lovely wedding,” you replied. “I didn’t know having a beach wedding could be so romantic,” you added. Akaashi looked at you with raised eyebrows._

_“Hm really?” he said softly. There was a pause as you began walking again as the light turned green. “Who got married again?” he asked after a while._

_“My cousin and her boyfriend of five years,” you answered. “Their love story is a funny one actually, wanna hear it?” He nodded in reply._

_“She said that they’ve been friends since high school and they playfully had a deal back then that they would marry one another if both of them were single at the age of 30. Can you believe it? I thought those things only happen in books or movies,” you said giggling._

_“So that’s why they got married? Because of the deal?” he asked._

_“Not really. They eventually got together during their uni days so they didn’t have to wait ‘till they’re 30 to get married,” you replied. You look over at him to see his reaction but as usual you he wore his emotionless face._

_“Interesting story,” was all he said after you replied. The two of you entered the park now where you walk by on your way home. There was silence for a while as the two of you walk, the occasional voices of the park-goers were the only ones breaking the silence. “Wanna make the same deal?” he suddenly asked._

_You stopped at your tracks and looked towards him, your face probably showing shock. His eyes in return, looked at you curiously, waiting for your reply. Akaashi was never the one to be vocal with his feelings; he usually uses actions to show he cares. Like when he skipped class and stayed by your side when you got sick, or when he gave you the limited edition of an album of the artist you adored for your birthday, or when he stuck close to you when a senpai tried to talk and confess to you._

_But here he was now. Asking you to promise him to marry him in the future… Well not really. But still._

_“Sure,” you said, your voice sounding high-pitched. You instantly blushed, embarrassed at how you reacted. “I- I mean, it’ll be nice to have that kind of insurance when we get older,” you added trying to hide embarrassment. Akaashi gave you a small smile which made you feel butterflies in your stomach._

_“Great, so it’s a deal,” he said firmly. The two of you resumed walking, with Akaahsi leading the way. After a while he turned his head to look over at you. “So, what kind of wedding do you want?” You stared at him, taken aback and quite speechless but thankfully you caught yourself._

_“Well if you’re asking then, I would totally want a garden wedding…” you started. The rest of the walk home was dedicated to the two of you planning you “future wedding”, where it would be held, who would you invite, what kind of motif you would choose… the talk making you giddy inside, making you hopeful of the future._

* * *

You looked at yourself in the mirror, willing yourself not to cry. The wedding ceremony was over and as soon as people were streaming out to walk towards the next hall for the wedding reception, you excused yourself to go to the restroom, saying you needed to retouch your makeup as an excuse. Watching the wedding brought back memories for you. Painful memories now, you thought as you were reminded about when you saw Akaashi.

 _“I guess this is what you get for not doing anything about it,”_ you said to yourself. The two of you were close since you have been classmates ever since middle school and you always thought you had an understanding with one another. You didn’t say your feelings out loud, but you knew that he knew about your feelings. And he knew that you knew about his feelings. You thought that the both of you were contented with just having each other without having to put a label on it. So, you never did.

But even without saying it out loud, it was like an unspoken rule to everyone: you were his and he was yours. And you thought it would stay that way. Even if you were away… _I guess that was not the case._ You took a deep breath, still staring at yourself. You should return to the party now, the others probably wondering what’s taking you so long. You stood up straight, and with one last look at yourself you walked out of the restroom.

As soon as you were out though, you immediately froze on the spot when you saw someone waiting for you outside. He was leaning on the wall across the restroom next to the big window. When he noticed you walking out, he immediately stood up straight. The two of you both stared at each other for a while before he decided to break the silence.

“I was waiting for you to come out,” he said, his voice flat. When you didn’t reply, Akaashi continued talking. “II wanted to talk to you… alone” he said trailing the last word. “I see,” you replied softly. “We shouldn’t probably talk here, let’s head to the lobby?” you suggested. He nodded in reply and led the way. Even though there were free seats in the couches in the lobby, the two of you decided to have your talk in the far corner of the room, next to a big window. Again, silence took over as both of you stood there, each not knowing what to say. And again, Akaashi was the first one to speak.

“When did you get back?” he asked.

“A few weeks ago.” you answered. Thinking you couldn’t take the silence anymore, you continued talking. “I got a job offer here, that’s why I came back. My parents stayed in Italy though, so I’m living by myself here in Tokyo,” you stated. He only nodded at what you said.

“How did Bokuto know you were back?” he asked another question.

“Well I met one of his sisters when I was shopping for things that I needed in my new apartment; I gave her my number then. Bokuto called me a few days ago to invite me here as his date, he said he heard I was back from his sister,” you explained. Before he could ask another question, you beat him to it. “So, you have a girlfriend now?” you asked. It was a relief that you voice came out steady. You noticed the shift in his mood, he looked more nervous now.

“Yeah, she’s a classmate in my university,” he replied. You hid your shaky hands behind your back as you continued with your questions.

“How long have you been dating?” you asked.

“A year…” he replied so softly that at first you thought he didn’t speak. “Y/N, look, I-“he started talking a step towards you but you instantly took a step back cringing away. You ignored the look of hurt that registered in his face when you pulled away.

“Can you forgive me?” he said, his voice tight as if he was finding it hard to speak. You bit your lip, hesitating on the words you were about to say.

“Why would I need to? You did nothing wrong.” you replied. The hands behind your back were now clenched into fists, as you still tried to stop the shaking. “We weren’t ever… Together.” you added. You noticed him flinched at your words, his face still looking hurt, his eyes sad.

“Still. I was yours. And I… Please.” he pleaded. Akaashi stopped himself from taking a step towards you again, afraid you would walk away if he did. You turned your face towards the window beside you, avoiding eye contact because you couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t take seeing his face like this, and you didn’t trust yourself with what your face was showing to him.

You want this to be over, you wanted to walk away, to run, to not see his face, his still beautiful face filled with regret. He looked so guilty about what he has done and you felt so terrible. Because deep inside, you knew it was probably your fault. Because you moved away. Because you didn’t stay. Because even after all this time you didn’t say anything. _You didn’t say you love him._

“Konoha’s wedding was done so beautifully, wasn’t it?” you suddenly said, eyes still focused outside where it started raining. Akaashi was taken aback with what you said. He didn’t expect you to suddenly change the topic to something else.

“I always though having an indoor wedding wouldn’t be as magical as having an outdoor wedding but he really proved me wrong,” you continued when he didn’t reply. “The rain would absolutely ruin a garden wedding… I guess I should think twice about that,” you added. Akaashi’s eyes went wide, his heart felt like it burst in his chest. He reached out his hand to touch you, to make you turn and look at him. But he stopped midway when heard the voice of his girlfriend.

“Kei-kun, there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” the voice said. You look towards the sound of the voice to see Akaashi’s date and Bokuto walking towards you. Bokuto’s face instantly looking sullen when he saw the both of you alone.

“You promised you would dance with me during the reception,” she said as they reached you, instantly clinging to her boyfriend by grabbing his arm.

“Sorry about that, we were just catching up and I guess we got carried away,” you said trying your best to smile at her.

“Oh, it’s fine! You’re Y/N, right? Akaashi and his friends talk about you all the time. They really missed you, I’m glad you’re finally back” she said returning your smile. She seems genuine when she said that which made you feel worse. “Well, Kei-kun c’mon, you can’t break your promise, let’s go back to the reception hall,” she said turning to Akaashi and dragging him back towards the hall. Akaashi wanted to stay, to talk things out still, but he noticed how hard you were trying to smile and he didn’t want you to feel hurt any longer so he let himself be dragged away from you.

As soon as they were away, you sobbed, covering your face with your shaking hands as tears started streaming down your eyes. You felt someone stand close to you, and saw Bokuto shielding you away from prying eyes as he tried covering your frame.

“I- It’s because of t-the wedding atmosphere,” you stuttered an excuse, your voice shaky from crying. You heard Bokuto give out a sigh, and held out a handkerchief for you.

“I know, I get it,” he replied sounding sympathetic. “Weddings always make people cry,” he added. You felt thankful that he played along with your excuse. He stayed beside you, not touching you. He just stood and gave you your space as you let out the emotions you were desperately trying hard to hide.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh, wrote this last year and totally forgot to post it so im posting it now.  
> this is another sad haikyuu oneshot, (sorry y'all) but i hope you still enjoy reading this! x  
> word count: 3428


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